Sept 20, 2011 Hola, (Yes, the kids had Spanish homework last night)
I'm honored to be performing in "Comedy on the Brain 2- Still Laughing" this Thursday, September 22nd at 7:30 at the Old Lantern in Charlotte.
I'm busy putting the final touches on my material, so don't call to ask if I can have lunch with you today. Okay, everyone needs to eat, I'll take a small break for lunch, then right back to writing. After lunch, I'll be finalizing my routine---well, I should probably run a couple miles on the treadmill first. But seriously, after today's workout it is comedy writing time. Actually, I'll need to take a shower first. Once I'm all cleaned up I'll be ready to write jokes--although my shower is kinda grimy---but after I clean that...I promise.... to pick the kids up from school... oh yeah, they're home sick today, can't use that as an excuse. After that, I'll head to Hannafords for more chicken noodle soup and after that, without a doubt, I will be sitting at the computer writing....COMEDY MATERIAL....unless the dog needs to go out for a walk...
(Yes, that paragraph was inspired by the children's book "If You Give a Pig a Pancake")
Charlotte resident Ted Montgomery produces this event in memory of his wife Sarah who recently passed away after a two-year battle with glioblastoma brain multiforme (GMB), the most common and aggressive type of brain cancer. One hundred percent of ticket sales go to brain tumor research. Last year the event raised approximately $8,500.
Tickets are $20 per person and are available online at www.brownpapertickets.com; at the Flying Pig Bookstore, Shelburne; the Old Brick Store, Charlotte; Spear's Corner Store, East Charlotte, and at the door. Doors open 7 p.m. Cash bar.
Sept 7, 2011
Hello Friend of Mine, or Friend of a Friend, or Guy whose email address I found in an ashtray,
Remember back in the beginning of my comedy career when my emails about upcoming comedy shows were dry and factual? Man, I miss those days! Okay, so here's what coming up, in my best non-dry and factually funny manner.
This Sunday, September 11th, I'll be headlining at the Monkey House Early Show in Winooski. (7:00 Show $5.)
Q. What does a headliner do at a comedy show?
A. Watches the friends and family of the previous comics walk out the door.
Next Friday, September 16th, I'll be performing at the Vergennes Opera House. (8:00 Show.Tickets $12 )
(Insert your own "It's not over until the fat lady sings" joke reference here.)
The following Thursday, September 22nd, I'm honored to perform in Comedy on the Brain 2-Still Laughing, at the Old Lantern, in Charlotte. All proceeds of this show benefit brain tumor research. (7:30 Show. Tickets $19)
So, there it is. Three shows in eleven days, or as my kids like to call it "Chicken nuggets for dinner week" or "She's still in the bathroom practicing, let's get more candy" or "Why can't she do our homework for us like she usually does?" or "We don't think she's that funny at home" or "Now's a good time to ask her for stuff, cause she's not listening to us" or "She sure is showering a lot lately".
Anyway, I appreciate all of these comedy opportunities. (And not just because these shows force me to put something on other than yoga pants.) Thank you for the continued support, the smiles, the laughs, the advice, the positive comments, and even the negative feedback (that I really don't recall asking for.) I miss you and hope to see you at one (or all) of these shows!
August 1, 2011
To my most favorite comedy fan,
On Thursday, I'll be performing comedy at Oscars, the new, happenin' bar upstairs in the Majestic 10 Theatre. This show is FREE, which is awesome if your debt ceiling has not yet been raised. Performing also will be Caleb Aguiar, Natalie Miller, Joel Chaves, Tony Bates, and Host Nathan Hartswick. I'll be headlining this show! (For those of you not well versed in comedy lingo---Headlining means that when people leave early to get home & relieve the babysitter, they will miss my entire set.)
The doors (and more importantly--the bar) open at 4:30. Show time is 9:00. You could make an entire evening of it. First, catch a movie, like "Smurfs in 3D", then head over to catch the "Comedy in 3D". Or you could check out the film "Crazy Stupid Love", then check out the "Crazy Stupid Comedy". Or------ okay, I promise not to force the movie "Cowboys and Aliens" into this paragraph.
I hope to see you there, because your attendance at these shows keeps the Cowboys and Aliens away.
July 18, 2011
Good Afternoon Comedy Fans & Fans of Reading ANY Email at their Desk Instead of Doing the Work they Should be Doing,
I'll be performing comedy at Kismet in Montpelier this Wednesday at 8:30. (I feel like I should specify that it's comedy I'll be performing, in case anyone thinks my 7th grade flute lessons were more than a huge waste of money & they show up at Kismet pissed that there's no woodwind show.) If anyone out there is pissed there's no woodwind show, let me know & I promise I'll remove you from my distribution list. (By pissed I mean, extremely irritated, not the British definition -extremely intoxicated---If you're intoxicated at lunchtime on a weekday--you have enough to worry about, so I promise not to remove you from the list.) Tickets are $10 and the proceeds go to flood relief.
I'll be joining Kathleen Kanz, Colin Ryan, Joel Chaves, and Martha Tormey. Joining them --like performing with them, not like attaching them to each other. That's another show----- one I like to call "Superglue and the Comics Who No Longer Speak to Me.
As always, I appreciate your support of this thing that I do that makes me laugh, makes me cry, and makes me crazy. (No, not the parenting, the comedy.)
May 23, 2011
Recently (like right this minute while I'm "helping" my daughter with homework) I was interviewed by a writer totally interested in (if not a little distracted by her daughter's homework) my upcoming comedy gigs. I think you'll find the questions thought provoking and hardly self-serving at all:
Q. So Tracie, it's been about 4 days since your last show & I heard it went well. Is this true?
A. Yes, the recipe for success in performing for an elementary school fundraiser is to include at least one lice joke. Suffice to say, the show went well.
Q. Will you be performing in this Green Mountain Comedy Festival that I hear such good things about?
A. Yes, I will be performing at 2 venues during this exciting event. On Friday May 27th, at Ye Olde England Inne, in Stowe.
On Saturday May 28th,at the Big Picture Theatre in Waitsfield. Tickets are $12 in advance or $15 at the door.
Q. Will there be a headliner at the Friday's Ye Olde England Inne show?
A.. Funny you should ask (what with you being me and everything). I will be the headliner at the Ye Olde England Inne show in Stowe. I believe this means I get lots of free stuff, don't have to rely on lice jokes & am not required to put away the chairs after the event. I'm sure there's some expectation to be EXTRA funny, but I'm thinking the elevation of Stowe & associated oxygen deprivation will ensure that the audience laughs hysterically (or appears hysterical--either way, I'm not putting away any chairs).
Q. If you could say anything out there to the people who tire of reading emails about your upcoming shows, what would you say?
A. Great question! (Thanks). I would say, I know some of you just hit the delete button & I know that some of you see these emails, and just roll your eyes. To you I say-- you know, your eyes could get stuck that way. To the rest of you out there I say: Your continued support allows me to navigate the roads of this crazy world of comedy.
May 18, 2011
What follows is an important press release sent to local media outlets with uninvited input & comments by me:
Local broadcasters Nan O'Brien and Tim Kavanagh have teamed up with the Northern Vermont Chapter of the American Red Cross to raise money for storm victims in Vermont and the South. A benefit performance, A Night of Hope, is planned for Saturday, May 21, from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center in Stowe. Tickets are $25 (The Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center is so stunningly beautiful that just using their bathroom is worth the $25 bucks.)
The event will feature country singer Matt Kennon, along with performances by local musicians, comedians (I am one of the comedians!!!! Yes, mentioned right here in the 4th line of the press release. So what if the musicians got mentioned first/got higher billing in the press release? I guess I just feel sorry for those poor dancers...) and dancers. There also will be a live auction. (Good, because I hate a dead auction.) All proceeds from ticket sales and the auction will go to the American Red Cross. (WHAT? This is an unpaid gig?)
The recent flooding in Vermont, combined with the tornado recovery efforts in the South, have put a strain on the American Red Cross's disaster relief funding.
To donate by mail: American Red Cross, A Night of Hope, 29 Mansfield Ave., Burlington, VT 05401
February 1, 2011 A couple of weeks ago Jackie Bombadier from the Vermont Children's Hospital asked if I'd be available to do another benefit for the Vermont Children's Hospital Marathon Team: Team Vermont Children's-Never Give Up --Ever.
What could I say? "Sorry, Jackie, I'm so behind schedule that I still don't even have my Christmas cards out?" Noooo, I couldn't say that. So I said: "Hey, on Thursday, February 10th, at 7:30 Carmen Lagala, Dustin Bruley, Ryan Kriger & I will show up at the BackStage Bar & Grill in Essex Junction with our best benefit-worthy standup comedy!"
I love this event because all the proceeds go to assist with financial needs that parents of long term patients may have. As if the comedy isn't enough, there will be a raffle drawing held during the show---prizes include: a gym membership to Sport & Fitness Edge, VIP UVM hockey tickets, a goody bag from Fleet Feet, a personal trainer session, manicure/pedicure, meals, and more. You can pick up raffle tickets at the show for $3. or 4 for $10.
Hope to see you there. Oh, and Happy Holidays!
Jan 1, 2011 My first comedy gig in 2011 will be at the Monkey House in Winooski this Sunday, January 9th at 7:00. (Doors 6:30 --15 yr old + show--$5 Cover)
I am excited to have stage time for a number of reasons:
#1. If I'm performing on a Sunday night then someone else is doing my kid's bedtime routine. #2. I believe the performers get a really cheap cocktail and someone else is doing my kid's bedtime routine. #3. I get to wear my silver shiny new Christmas present---it should be interesting wearing a tea kettle. #4. I'll be doing my usual stand up and then a few minutes of (spoiler alert) something COMPLETELY new for me. This will either go so well, that it will become a part of my future shows, or it will bomb and I will wish I had stayed home and done bedtime routine.
Either way, this is not a show to be missed. (Unless you are babysitting for me that night, then it is a show to be missed, but everyone else, you know, you should try to come, if you want to.)
p.s. It is not all about me: Nathan Hartswick will be hosting and doing 10 minutes, probably also wearing a tea kettle, Martha Tormey will be doing 30 minutes (unless she goes long--and what are the chances of that?) and in between is a jamboree of comics doing quick 5 minute sets. For more info check out: http://monkeyhousemusic.com/calendar
October 31, 2010: Hello Comedy Fans and People Sick of Receiving my Emails:
For those of you looking for some direction in your life, feel free to cut & paste the following "To Do" list into your calendars.
TO DO LIST:
Monday: Celebrate All Saint's DAy
Tuesday: Get out and Vote
Wednesday: Make plans to attend COMEDY ON THE BRAIN at The Old Lantern in Charlotte
Thursday: Attend COMEDY ON THE BRAIN (Doors open at 7:00- Showtime 7:30)
Friday: Feel good about self for supporting such a great cause!. All proceeds go to Brain Tumor research.
September 1, 2010: Once again, I am psyched to be invited back to perform in the Flynn Space's 22nd installment of the hilarious (their word, not mine) comedy series: Stand Up, Sit Down, and Laugh. The show begins next Tuesday, Sept. 14th at 7:30. Tickets are $11 ($1 preservation fee----Oh,sure, I'm getting a little older, but is a preservation fee really necessary?) and are available at the door or in advance at www.flynntix.org. Appearing also is Colin Ryan, Oliver Barkley, and Josie Leavitt. These guys are hilarious (my word, not their's) making this a show not to be missed.
You may wonder: What have I been up to this summer (besides being woefully without childcare)? Am I still funny--given the aforementioned? What experiences will I draw comedy from? And finally, can I find a babysitter on a Tuesday night (interested, available, non-felons please call 863-9971)?
The summer has flown by. Some of my experiences include: a fun-filled, albeit alcohol free day at a Maine Waterpark (If you have more than 3 tattoos, I probably saw you there.) My unsuccessful attempt (due to low-blood sugar--not that I'm making excuses) to rescue Hillary Clinton (the cat) from a tree. The lesser reported, but successful rescue (you gotta love a good Snickers Bar) of Hillary Clinton (the senator) from a tree. The (as I like to call it) "Staples Back To School Shopping Incident"--whereby I drop to the ground screaming, pulling my back out of place, after mistaking the massage toy placed (by my child) on my spine for a police taser. Oh, and it wouldn't have really felt like summer if I hadn't been able to spill a half gallon of paint (exterior--if it matters) in the back seat of my Toyota.
Yes, I should have some new material.
November 3, 2008 I'm busy getting ready for the November 14th Comedy for a Cause Show that I'm organizing. I'm frantically writing new material and spending countless hours trying to change my running watch to correspond to the time change. Lately my days are spent hanging posters, passing out flyers, sending out press releases, selling tickets and watching the laundry pile grow higher -- glad we opted for the cathedral ceilings.
On Friday, November 14th, Oliver Barkley and I will be doing standup, with Jason Lorber serving as the emcee. The Sheraton in South Burlington is where it will all take place. Yes, they have a cash bar. This is an 18 year old and over show. All of the proceeds from the door will benefit the Vermont Children's Hospital at Fletcher Allen Health Care.
Tickets can be purchased in advance thru Flynntix, or by cash or check at the door. I hope you can come out and join me to help raise money for such a great cause!!!!